flying in the air

i felt something that ive never felt before...i dont know what i felt was real or just my own imagination..i mean i knw its not my imagination caz ive heard it by myself..i guess d 1 and only guy who accepted me 4 who i am is HESAN :D

he never said im ugly..i know him since 16..and now im 19...hhhhmmm..not bad...i was in a 10days relationship with him in year 2008,ahahahahahahhaah....it was just 4 fun...i think theres a magic between us...i dont know wuts it..maybe im just crapping...ahahahah.....i still remember d conversation between us just now...

hesan:parveen u have better body now..

me: HELL NO,I AM FAT..

hesan:no,no..ur not...ur body is just perfect..

me:HUH??

hesan:u know what u look beautiful and u really attracted me when i saw u 2days back

me:*flying in d air*

owh w8..w8...before that..i meet him on saturday..he cme 2 my mums office...so yeah...

he is coming 2 c me this week...he wants 2 spend time wimme...awwwwww..owh,another things is i accidentally sent a msg 2 him saying that *hopefully the magic btwn us stays 4eva*..like fudgeeeeeee....he said sure,dont worie babe...hmm...SAYA RELA TO BE WITH HIM :D

no1 ever made me fly this high after seeing me...and...and..andddd..HE LOVES MY HAIR....awwww..wanna see him???w8..

cute right...he is my jungle bunny HESAN..ehehehe...aite..aite..tats all 4 now...my neck hurts....need 2 sleep...nitey nitez...

UR THE REASON FOR MY TEARS :'(

was reading back those msgs sent by karam...i miss him soo much..now i wish i could have accepted his proposal...sameer had left me too..I HAVE NO ONE..i thought sameer would be wimme till d end..now i wish i was with karam...i miss those moments with him...the way he called me 'baby jaanu'..karam,why do u have 2 leave me now??m i that ugly??like wtf...i want u back now...KARAMJEET SINGH CHEEMA, MAIN TUMHE VAPAS CHAHAT HAI!!!!! :'(

all about him him him!!!

back to confused state...im sure of 1 thing...I LIKE HIM...but i dont know if he does or not..as usual i never expect someone 2 like me in return...they way he talks 2 me sounds like he only take me as his fren...maybe i should leave it that way...i should not expect more...im confused about aishah..i remember her words...she said parveen i only allow u 2 be frens with him..i will not allow u 2 b in a relationship with him...i tried asking her y but she never gimme any reason for it...what m i suppose to do...i am a STUBBORN ass who will not listen to anyone unless i think i should..the more she said it the more i startd to like him.. GOD..y on earth did u made us to meet..i never had any sorts of feelings at first..now slowly i started u LIKE him...well i HAVENT fall for him...it takes time,but smetimes i feel like i dont wanna lose him..another part of me is saying that im not the one for him or maybe he isnt for me....still i cant accept the fact!!leave this a side...now its about him...to me he isnt complicated,thats fosho!!he is kinda EGOIST!!he wants me 2 say everything...like wth...i cant do it..ive done it many times and ive got rejected...not gonna make that mistake anymore...all im looking now is for someone 2 love me for who i am..ofcaz i knw or i would say i assume that he will nt accept me 4 who i am...i still feel im not perfect...everyone would want a PERFECT partner...no problem in that...i think im just gonna hide my feeling...but my sister said tell it out..just say if he dont like u,u can move on..dont depend on 1 if u knw he doesnt like you..which is TRUE!!! now i gotta do is THINK CAREFULLY AND MAKE THE NEXT MOVE!!   *faint* :P

20/4/11 -> a date to remember...

heeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyyyyy..it has been ages since i blogged... like many incident took part but i couldnt write it on my blog..was effing busy nd never had much time.... now i really took the effort to blog something really important... its about my gf's bday...it was on 20/4.. something happend beyond my imagination and my expaectation.. DAENG!! i planned with syed(her bf) to come here on her bday and give her a surprise...well everything happend just like what i pland...few minutes after that i saw a group of the ppl i knw 4rm klang (zahir,cindy,tara,lukesh and ashwin). GOOD LORD,i never pland this...I SWEAR THIS ISNT MY PLAN..i was badly dressed...EMBARRASSING !!i was with abaya and scarf... i looked like a 'budak kampongj'...the worst part zahir was there...daem...each time i see him,il be in a bad outfit..and he'll sure bully me...owh wait..wanna see zahir?? ;)

-> this is zahir...cute right..ehehhehe...he is known as squidward..caz he talks like one..anyways i like him...i mean LIKE him...idk if he does or not..who cares...i dont expect some1 to like me in return...my gosh,hes mulut mmg x filter..LOL...i mean im okay with it...im not that touchy type..hopefully will never be that type..okay..back 2 d birthday blast..yes...i saw this group of guys entering mc donalds by singing 'happy birthday to you'..everyone was looking at our table...bhahaha...we messed up mc donalds...sadly we didnt eat there...i was dragged by syed to old town white coffee 4 dinner...goosshh...sat in car bside zahir...ehehehe... *maaaluuuuu*..wtv..aint being a drama queen now...i was soo terharu by seeing the way syed treated aishah...i really want a bf like that...he loves her sooo much...owh i 4get 2 tell..he cme 2 mc donalds with a bouquet with chocolate and her gift...the best part was when he gave her the present and said' sorie la b,ini je mampu'..effing shit it was a CK watch..cost around 1000++bucks man.. LIKE WTH...daem..that bitch is soo lucky..woppssyy..ahaha...she is lucky..im so hapie 4 her..may god bless them 4ever..wanna see them getting married...the rest(couples: lukesh and cindy & ashwin and tara) was awesome too..so jealous to see them...haaiissshh...hopefully i get a life like aishah.. AMEEN..now i have 2 get my ass off blogger..caz i hav presentation in abit...il b back soon..ADIOZ...

no more doubts...

 my sister made me realize that karam isnt the one for me..if he really loved me,he wouldnt ignore me after seeing me..i would wanna b with a guy who can patiently wait just to see me and willing to accept me for who i am..to me love dosent come by looks..looks is just secondary..caz if ur goin for her/his looks one day u mite leave him bcaz his not attractive..so nvr go for looks..i thought karam's love was true,turns out it isnt..he only had lust on me..*sigh*
the only thing that i pray 2 god is i wanna be with a guy who can love me for who i am...a guy who can keep me happy forever...a guy who has d same attitude like mine..i dont mind waiting for that guy for the rest of my life.. :)

feel good and felt bad!!!!

NOEL.... my tony boy...hehehehe...each time i call him i never fail to laugh...OMYGOSSSHH..he always have something to say...there is no a day i felt bored talking to him..some how he makes d conversation interesting....i like him for the way he is..

lets leave this a side...no m dead pissed with KARAMJEET SINGH!!

                              
WTF did i do to him...i stil dnt get it..he said i changed him..i mean,dont worie not in a good way...its way around..i do like him until last nite,but last nite i told myself to stop liking him caz i feel like im a DOG bhind him,nd he dosent even wanna bother me.... enough..i dont wanna go soo cheap...if he cant appreciate me for who i am,i couldnt care less..as far as i know...errrmm...im not 'perasaning' or self obsessed..i think i look a lil better thn hez EX...maybe she'z way slimmer thn me...yea..tats true...she is slim and tall..FINEEE..

now i knw y he rejected me..i thought love comes 4rm d heart..not looks??

ppls thesedays...*sigh*

i thought he loved me for who i am,but turns out he loved me for who im nt..i mean i dont

look the same if u she my pix...ofcaz i do edit my pix..i guess he fell 4 my pix..not me..

he totally ignored me after seeing me..and now putting the blame on me by sayin that i changed him...

OH PUH-LEZZZZZZZZZZz...if u dont like me,u can saying right on my face..im not

that kinda gal who sits and cry over compliments...that is soo not me yahh..

there will be 1 day u'll feel wut i felt...I PROMISE U THAT!!!!! *peace up*

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPYYYY!!!! I AM SOO HAPPYYYYY!!

3.17am...out of sudden i woke up...checkd my phone..2 misscalls from noel..i was like WTH!!!he called me...??i was effing excited..caz it has been ages since he called me..the worst part is i was sleeping with my mum...i soo wanted 2 talk 2 him too..so i misscalled back..he called me..it was 3.20am..i answered..without saying hellow he started 2 sing..gooooooooooooshhhhh....after soo long..i was just listening without saying a word..we spoke only 4 5mins..he told he'll call me back..the minute i hang up d phone,i heard a voice callin my name...F***,it was my mum...she was asking who m i talking to..i kept quiet..nvr open my mouth..she opened my comforter.. she woke me up nd asked me who m i talking to..i just look at her nd gave her a look like 'mum wat r u crapping'??

LMAO..im pretty good at acting...I AM A DRAMA QUEEN U KNW..ahahhahaha..i was hopping that she would ask me in d morning when i wake up...thank god until now she didnt even ask a word..then at 4.10pm he called me again..eheheheh...excited again..nd again..i remember d conversation we had:

me:looks like some1 is calling me now...not bad..

noel:owh yah,i just reloaded my phone,so thought of calling you..

me:waahh...okay..

noel:hmm...nt be 'perasan' kay..i didnt called you d 1st...

me:so wut,atleast u called me right..btw who u called 1st??

noel:errmm..my mum..

me:2nd?

noel:err..you la..who else..

me:awwww..atleast im d 2nd 1...ehehehe..till then im happie..

i was flying in the air...i love talking to him..i dont mind talking to him the wholeday..but im prayin hard 2 god to change him..he drinks alot..which is not good 4 his health..hopefully god answers my prayer..aite...ADIOZ AMIGO!!!

I HAVE MADE MY MIND!!

now i have made my mind..i am not gonna hope on blush anymore caz now i understand that he didnt had love for me..he was just attracted to my looks..after meeting me everything has changed,caz i look different in person..he was attracted to my pictures on facebook... he use 2 tell me that he miss my voice..now it has been 3-4days already..he never told me anything like that..i hurts...ALOT...really ALOT.. god..why is this happening to me??are you letting me 2 feel the pain??i hate it alot...i wanna fall in love..i want someone to pamper me..i want someone to hug me,kiss me,feel me...dont think i am GATAL kay..its just my hormones are working fast...whats wrong with it??im a human..i would feel the same like the others too..u cant say im too young for it or dont tell me some GRANMA stories..i know im not gonna get him,its k..he isnt luck 2 have me..thats all i can say...

KARMA... WHAT GOES AROUND,COMES AROUND!!

i am fucking sad rite now!!! i guess its karma.. i was only taking you as my friend,but u took my as a girl friend..but now i wanna take u as a boyfriend,ur taking me a friend...everything changed after our meet...dipsy said its too soon 2 meet yah,but i didnt felt so caz somehow your gonna still see me..my face..everything..nothin in me is gonna change..that fosho!! i thought u would like me for who m i...but turns out u startd to ignore me for who m i..now those words are coming back 2 me..each time when u  call me'baby',sayang','hunie' and all, i called u back either 'jaani' or 'weyh'..now when i started to call u with all tho 'manje words' ur ignoring it by callin me 'weyh'..i guess this is what people say what goes around comes around..IT MY FAITH!!i guess its time 4 me 2 back off...im sorie for hurting you,but now i startd to love you <3

the curse!!

i was wondering why is all my love ones leaving me and going away??now i knw,ITS BECAUSE OF THE CURSE!!!!!!i was cursed by most of the guys...i wasnt or im not a player...im a friendly person..so when i talk friendly to guys they assume that i like or love them..when they proposed 2 me i reject them..so they end up cursing me..is it my fault to be friendly???i love 2 talk,i cant stop talking..at d same time i love 2 make new friends...i guess now the curse is going all around me..karam was soo in love wimme...now hez gone too..*sigh*...i dont know what to say...im sick and tired of my fucking life..*sorie 4 that word* :(

back to blog

hellow peeps..im back 2 blog..currently m missing all my friends...it has been a while since i spoke or chat with them.. guys i miss you all..do u guys miss me?*being emo*..bhahahahahahahhaahah..being emo dosent suit me at all..i prefer being a drama queen..owkay out of the track..the friends that i miss the most are kumail,najihah,sameer,nabil,arifin,navreet,aishah,nadia and hesan...owh..wanna c how they look like..w8 lemme upload their pix :D

these are mybloved friends...i mean i have alot..but the 1's whoz close 2 me...from left top:kumail,najihah,sameer,nabil,arifin,navreet,aisha,nadia and hesan..cute right all of them...ehehehhehehe...owh...guys guess wut,sonia has added me on fb..YYEEAAAYYY..finally my doa was answered by Allah,sykur Alhamdulillah...anyways will get back 2 u guys soon kay..tc..adioz :D

I MISS YOU EVERY SECOND!!

I love you more than I did before..
And if today I don’t see your face..
Nothing’s changed, no one can take your place..
It gets harder everyday..


Well I tried to live without you..
But tears fall from my eyes..
I’m alone and I feel empty..
I’m torn apart inside..


im confused..i've never met him before..i dont know how he smells..u might be wondering 'WHAT??how he smells??what does smell gotta do with this'..orite 2 me smell do matter..so yeah..the only thing i know is im sooo confused..do i love him??errrmm...not sure...im pretty sure that he..eerrrrrr...okay.I DONT KNOW..im such a confused soul on earth..grrhh..ritee...i do have feelings towards him..he was there when i was down..he made me laugh to the fullest when i was sad..he lend me his shoulder when i needed to lay on..he was soo there 4 me..but nowadays we rarely chat/talk..he is freaking busy with his life and so do i..although how busy i am i still think about those moments we shared..


i still cant forget the moment i was down and i told him that,he was silent for few minutes..then when i ask him 'r u there??am i bothering u,if i do im sorie and m leaving..and he said no..no..wait..ur down and finding some funny jokes 2 make u smile..okay here u go..read this'..OMYGOD!!!my tears immediately stopped and i start 2 smile..i thought to myself 'god this is the guy i was finding for a long time,i wish i could own him'..each i talk 2 him i tend to smile..i started to say BYEBYE to sadness..i seriously have no idea how he feels for me..but im VERY SURE this is how i feel towards him...i guess ive spit out everything which was in me..i feel soo relief..haaaaa...now i can sleep peacefully...hopefully 1day i get to tell him how i feel..*inshaAllah* :)