confused soul!

which one of this belongs to me now??? *confused*
whats wrong with me?why am i feelings so messed up?should i smile?laugh?cry?what should i do to overcome this?(heart says PARVEEN BLAST ON THE MUSIC AND DANCE)..shall i do so?*thinking*
I guess this is all because of my current life style..wtf man,i don't have any freedom in my life..i feel like i don't have space to breathe..mum why is so hard for you to trust me?am i that bad?whatever..i dont care less about what you feel about me..i'm just gonna remain the same until the end because i know no matter how good i become your not gonna give me freedom and trust me..too bad i'm not gonna change who i am for any reason..* i sound so rebellious now*..who gives a shit about it!!i just wanna live the way i wanna live...give me a chance i'll prove you that my decision is right...im big enough to think what is good and bad..right and wrong..i'm no longer a kid who holds her mums hand to cross a small drain...let me go i can even cross the ocean by myself *just saying because i'm pretty bad in swimming,i can even drown in the baby pool*..the best solution for this is, my beloved mum please give me some freedom in my life,i'll prove u that i'll never misuse the freedom..*PROMISE*
Anyways its already 3.37am..i need to sleep..the bed is calling me..my bolster needs a tight from its owner..comforter need protect a sweet person from the chill...(whatever im being such a drama queen)..so good night,UMMU SALAMAH, CFS,Nilai,Negeri Sembilan and Malaysia.. toodles...mwahxxx..